Jump to content

Totherun

Full Members
  • Posts

    4,149
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Totherun

  • Birthday 15/07/1953

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Totherun's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

  • Week One Done
  • One Month Later
  • One Year In

Recent Badges

0

Reputation

  1. Totherun

    Irish Yoga

    [attachment=0]Irish Yoga.jpg[/attachment]
  2. Totherun

    Irish Yoga

    [attachment=0]Irish Yoga.jpg[/attachment]
  3. A woman, somewhat fed-up with her lot as a singleton, placed an ad in the local paper: "Husband Wanted" Sure enough, the very next day, she received over 200 emails all saying the same thing: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... "You can have mine!"
  4. A woman, somewhat fed-up with her lot as a singleton, placed an ad in the local paper: "Husband Wanted" Sure enough, the very next day, she received over 200 emails all saying the same thing: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... "You can have mine!"
  5. Totherun

    J K Rowling

    Of course, the Haynes manual is classified as fiction.
  6. Totherun

    J K Rowling

    Of course, the Haynes manual is classified as fiction.
  7. In a press statement earlier today, David Moyes has promised Manchester United fans that they will definitely be competing in one of the major European competitions next season - . . . . . . . . Even if he has to write the song himself!
  8. In a press statement earlier today, David Moyes has promised Manchester United fans that they will definitely be competing in one of the major European competitions next season - . . . . . . . . Even if he has to write the song himself!
  9. Totherun

    Happy New Year

    Hee hee! I needed a chuckle.
  10. Totherun

    Happy New Year

    Hee hee! I needed a chuckle.
  11. Two blokes arrive at heaven and are waiting for St Peter to open the gates and let them in. To pass the time, one asked the other how he ended up at the pearly gates. "I died of cold" said the other. "How about you?" The first chap said "I'd been suspecting that my wife was having an affair, so I went home early to catch her in the act. I checked the whole house and found nothing. I felt so guilty and upset,that I had a heart attack." "That's a shame" said the second chap. "If you'd have looked inside the freezer, we'd both still be alive"
  12. Two blokes arrive at heaven and are waiting for St Peter to open the gates and let them in. To pass the time, one asked the other how he ended up at the pearly gates. "I died of cold" said the other. "How about you?" The first chap said "I'd been suspecting that my wife was having an affair, so I went home early to catch her in the act. I checked the whole house and found nothing. I felt so guilty and upset,that I had a heart attack." "That's a shame" said the second chap. "If you'd have looked inside the freezer, we'd both still be alive"
  13. Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy, distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad? Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - drink in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND..... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
×
×
  • Create New...